I think every single one of us has experienced doing something wrong at some point in our lives. That’s probably a universal experience for all humans. And it makes sense; we’re human. We aren’t machines with code perfectly wired to act a certain way, to speak or think a certain way. 

  So making mistakes comes naturally somehow. So, when we hurt someone, I think there’s a bit more depth to it. Because even though mistakes come naturally, we’re still the ones in our own body.  

 Why does this topic matter to me? 

  I love people. I really, really, love people. It’s not that my love for people made me try to apologize or even understand it. I just believe that everyone is completely different from one another. And I really enjoy the variety of people on earth, and that makes me want to try and understand every single type of person.  

  So, if I want to understand everyone, I also need to understand the things each type of person can do that is considered bad. That probably doesn’t make sense. I’m just very apologetic, from a bit of fear, and curiosity.  

 Why should you apologize? 

  Why should you apologize? That is such a strange question. But if you’d like my perspective, I guess I view it just like brushing your teeth. It’s simply good for you. You wouldn’t want plaque building up on your teeth and ruining your gums, would you?  By never apologizing, your lack of self-reflection will make you arrogant to only view things in your eyes, and you’d be blinded by your own misdirection. 

  And when I tell you it’s good for you, and you go to apologize because it’s good for yourself, are you intaking the reflection of a sincere apology?  

  The paradox comes from the assumption that you are acting from self-interest.  And since what makes a good apology comes from its sincerity, can you be sincere if you’re doing it for yourself at the same time? Ethics…They’re annoying. 

  That assumption is very redundant though. I think too much. Really intentions and also interests both mean a lot. But do they cancel each other out? Well, that’s more philosophical but let me use a scenario involving apologies. 

  Let’s say you punch someone, because you wanted to. And you get in trouble with our principal, and he forces you to write an apology note for hitting someone. I think if you question whether or not you’re being insincere for writing this letter because you no longer want to be in trouble, is good enough proof that you care. 

  Maybe sincerity isn’t about removing self-interest, but recognizing the impact of our mistakes despite of that. 

 Difference between apologies and forgiveness 

    If you were to type forgiveness and apologies in two separate tabs and go on images, there’s a difference in quality and it even isn’t close.  

  Forgiveness, the whole concept is completely worshipped, while apologies are reduced to a more begging like tone. You can imagine someone begging on their knees as they apologize over and over.  

  If you need to apologize, that means you did wrong, and if you can forgive that means you’ve been wronged; that’s what I mean. And of course that’s obvious. 

  What really matters here is the responsibility of both an apology and the act of forgiveness, and while one is considered mercy, the other might be more considered an obligation towards each other. That’s the difference; as to what you do with this information, I have no idea. But they’re very similar.  

 To apologize or not apologize, that is the question. 

  We need to apologize to each other. I think it goes even beyond that. I mean don’t we hope someone forgives us? For me at least, I think you should forgive and also apologize. They don’t cost anything.  Really, it’s only difficult because it’s very personal.  

  Our personal lives might tell us something else, there might be some sort of pride telling us that since it’s our life, and since someone chose to willingly wrong us, they didn’t think about anything, and so therefore we shouldn’t forgive them.  

  Because if this person really cared about wronging us, they would reach out, they would talk, they would have thought about it more for more than ten seconds, but instead, they ruin everything, and completely dismantle your trust.  

  And you’re probably right, someone’s actions speak mountains above their words. But I can’t help but wonder if maybe it’s beyond me.  And if I simply just didn’t understand them at all.  What if there was a reason, or something I just didn’t know about this person? We all have that one person that we need to apologize or give forgiveness to.

  Maybe not forgiving someone shows us our own inability to accept change in a person. And maybe we’re in the wrong for assuming this person can’t change.  

  But really, I think we owe it to ourselves, to think about it ourselves, for them. So, let me ask you a question: what do you think we owe to each-other? 

  For me that’s the most important question to ask when dealing with apologies in general. If I were born to hurt someone, and I was only given that purpose in my life, how in the world would I be genuinely able to apologize?  

  For me I think the key to forgiveness, apologies, and feeling sorry, is when we choose to try to understand each other. I think that’s what we owe to each other.