Disease at MHS: Commitment Issues


Source: mantracore.org/therapy/relationship/commitment- issues/

By Liana Bracero, Staff Writer

  A disease has been spreading among MHS students… commitment issues!!  

     “I know many people with commitment issues. One of them is a guy that I really liked at the time and his problems got in the way of the many good things that could’ve happened between us,” says Sophomore M.H. “He would make me empty promises that he couldn’t fulfill; he liked all the affection that I’d give him, but when it came to putting a title on our ‘situation’, he backed out.” She feels as though people like this need a lot of self-work. 

      Another female 10th grader H.M. admits that she herself has commitment issues. “I tend to start a lot of relationships with the intentions to start something romantically with someone but then I feel like it’s too much work,” she said. 

     Sometimes, these issues can affect not only you and your said partner but even everyone else around you. A male 10th grader mentions how, “I don’t personally have or deal with commitment issues, but some of my friends do, and it very much affects the dynamic of our friend group. Their problems make everyone else feel uncomfortable and awkward at times.” 


What are Commitment Issues and… Can they be overcome? 

     According to Healthline.com, people with commitment issues will often demonstrate fear or unwillingness to commit to a long-term relationship. This typically refers to an inability to talk about the future or lack of desire to take the next steps when a relationship begins to progress through time.  

How do Commitment Issues affect relationships? 

     H.M. goes on to say how her commitment issues have affected the way she treats her partners or the way she goes about resolving her relationships problems. She said, “It has led me to hurt a lot of people I’ve met who have been great and nice people which makes me lose them.” She acknowledges how negatively it affects her. “It impacts me because it makes me feel like I am a bad person. I know it’s my fault,” she said.  

     Female M.A. adds that people with commitment issues may sometimes want to have all the benefits of a relationship without actually calling it one. “Once you make it official, a lot of responsibilities start to come,” she says. “In situations like this the other person who may be ready for the relationship can sometimes end up feeling unloved or as if they’re doing something wrong.” 

    This is something many people struggle with, but mainly teenagers at MHS. Almost everyone you talk to will have a story to tell you about a time they’ve experienced this, whether it be they who did it or someone else. Commitment issues can be caused by many things. It can come from childhood trauma, family problems, or even a simple breakup.  

     Commitment issues have gotten so bad in people it’s gotten a name of its own and its even become a sort of phobia. As stated in the article “Gamophobia (Fear of Commitment): Causes and Treatment,” posted on the website for the Cleveland Clinic  

< https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22570-gamophobia-fear-of-commitment#>,  

Gamophobia — a fear of commitment or fear of marriage — can keep you from enjoying meaningful relationships. A painful breakup, divorce or abandonment during childhood or adulthood may make you afraid to commit to someone you love. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) can help you overcome this commitment phobia.”  


Are Commitment Issues an actual issue in teens? 

     “I think commitment issues are actual issues because a lot of people deal with them knowingly or even unknowingly, and it ruins a lot of relationships due to self-sabotage from the person with these issues,” states one female senior.  

      Female sophomore M.H. adds, “It gets in the way of them enjoying what could be something beautiful as a teenage relationship.” 

      While many deal with commitment issues, some people such as parents or other adults don’t believe that “commitment issues exist.” According to an article titled “Commitment Issues” for the Relate website <relate.org.uk>, “Commitment issues are a real thing and affect many couples. However, the term ‘commitment issues’ can also be used as a way of trying to explain what is, ultimately, a lack of true interest in pursuing a long-term relationship.”