Miami High News

Trapped in the Box: Living with Strict Parents

Source: https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/preschooler/behavior-and-discipline/back-talk/is-rebellion-necessary-to-individuate

Source: https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/preschooler/behavior-and-discipline/back-talk/is-rebellion-necessary-to-individuate

By Annette Chu, Editor-in-Chief

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   Imagine living in a small box and not being allowed to leave and explore the outside. You’ll feel restricted and trapped. This metaphor describes how a lot of teenagers feel about their highly supervised lives. Restrictions are meant to prevent a person from doing something, but the majority of time, they end up being broken. Parental restrictions can have positive as well as negative effects on a child.

 

Trapped vs. Free Students

Some parents of Miami High students do place restrictions on them. Sophomore Sigrid Real-Aguilar said, “My parents are afraid that I get influenced by my peers, so they watch who I hang out with to make sure I’m safe and that I’m not doing anything bad.” Sophomore Kiana Ramirez said, “They think that if they don’t, I’ll get out of control.”

However, there are students whose parents give them freedom. Junior Jiuber Mena said, “My parents have no restrictions on me; instead they expect me to use common sense and be responsible for myself. They tell me this will build independence and improve my judgment with situations. If I happen to forget to use common sense, then I will learn from the consequence(s) and/or from my parents telling me not to do it again.”

Sophomore Chanel Herrera said, “My parents never had restrictions on me. On the contrary, they use less restrictions because that is their parenting style to not make me rebel.”

 

Type of Restrictions

   The types of restrictions parents place varies. Kiana Ramirez said, “I can’t stay out too long, and I have to check in after a certain time if I’m staying at school for some reason. I can’t sleep over at friends’ houses, nor can they give me rides home. If my mom is busy, she’d rather I walk or take the bus.”

Sophomore Isaac Sanchez said, “The latest I can stay out is 12-1a.m., depending on the situation, and that’s only if I tell her first. My mom must also know where I am, and I need to be at a moment’s notice from my phone in order to answer.”

 

Why Do Teens Rebel?

   Some teens want to show their parents they can be independent or prove a point to them, and some feel trapped by the rules set against them. Rebellion starts from being denied something but having the desire for it. Jiuber Mena said, “Teens start assuming that they know better than their parents, and that their parents are restricting certain things to harm the teen instead of protecting them.”

Sophomore Evamarie Santiago said, “Teenagers rebel because they do things out of curiosity. They want to try things, and they want to make sure what they are as a person.”

Sigird Real-Aguilar said, “What makes a teen a rebel is when the parents, instead of trying to understand them and what they’re going through, decide to be strict and restrict them from everything. Many parents are very tough when it comes to their kids, and it can eventually lead to them rebelling because they don’t want to feel imprisoned.”

 

Rebellion Stories

   Some students at Miami High are not afraid to break their parents’ rules. Sigrid Real- Aguilar said, “There have been times when I have broken rules to prove that maybe if I do, they try to understand me and let me confide in them. I want them to know that I am growing, and I would like to talk to them and for them not to overreact. One of the rules I broke was going out with my friends after school. I walked to Burger King, and my mom found out and got mad. Eventually we talked about it, and she said she only did that because she cared. We eventually fixed things, but I made her understand that restrictions won’t always stop a child from doing what they want at this age.”

Evamarie Santiago said, “Once I had a boyfriend, and I went to his house without anyone’s consent. I only went because I really liked him, and I knew my parents wouldn’t leave me alone with a boy.”

Isaac Sanchez said, “I do go behind my mother’s back, and my only explanation for my actions is 3 simple words: Life is one. I sometimes sneak out to go out with friends or go on adventures with people. I think living in a routine is too taxing on a person and life should have rules broken even if they lead to mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn. I don’t do it to disrespect my parents or to hurt them. I do it because I know my time is limited, and if I don’t experience things my parents wouldn’t agree with, then I haven’t lived.”

 

Sigrid Real-Aguilar said, “There have been times when I have broken rules to prove that maybe if I do, [my parents] try to understand me and let me confide in them. I want them to know that I am growing, and I would like to talk to them and for them not to overreact. One of the rules I broke was going out with my friends after school. I walked to Burger King, and my mom found out and got mad. Eventually we talked about it, and she said she only did that because she cared.”

Punishments

   Rebellious behavior, however, can lead to punishments. Junior Daniel Gravier had to stare at a corner for an hour.

Chanel Herrera said, “It was public embarrassment because I didn’t call my mom on homecoming night when my phone was running low on battery. My parents sent all my friends messages through my phone saying I was punished for being dumb. It affected me because now I communicate more on my location with my parents.”

A sophomore who chose to remain anonymous said, “I was kicked out of my house and left to figure out what I was going to do on my own. It happened 4 times in the past 2 years. I simply told my mom what choices that she made that I disagree with and that are affecting me.”

 

Rules vs. Teens

Parents sets rules for a reason. English teacher Dr. DeNight, who has two teenage kids, said he wants them to be safe and responsible to earn their rights.

Sigrid Real-Aguilar said, “Parents put restrictions on their kids because nowadays many of us seem to be guided by our friends, and it’s not always a good thing. I’ve had many friends that have tried to get me to do the wrong thing, which by them seems right, but I never did because my parents put restrictions on me.”

Isaac Sanchez said, “Some do it to protect their children, and I think that’s the worst thing you could ever do to your child. To protect your kid by sheltering them from the ugly of this world is to throw them at wolves unprepared after high school. Some parents do this because they’re afraid their kids will end up as fry cooks or drug addicts. That fear also affects the kid negatively because they don’t feel like they have a choice in who they’re going to be without their parents hovering over and dictating their choices.”

But why do restrictions cause teen rebellion? Dr. DeNight believes that teens want to feel like they are adults before they are ready. He said, “Kids wants all the benefits of being an adult without the responsibilities.”

Evamarie Santiago said, “Parents say no to nearly everything you ask them, especially when you ask to go out with someone who isn’t family. They become cautious and overprotective; it gets a little irritating.”

Isaac Sanchez said, “To protect your kid by sheltering them from the ugly of this world is to throw them at wolves unprepared after high school. Some parents do this because they’re afraid their kids will end up as fry cooks or drug addicts. That fear also affects the kid negatively because they don’t feel like they have a choice in who they’re going to be without their parents hovering over and dictating their choices.”

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About the Writer
Annette Chu, Editor-In-Chief

Sophomore in Journalism 2

1 Comment

One Response to “Trapped in the Box: Living with Strict Parents”

  1. Nicoletta on December 3rd, 2018 10:00 pm

    GO OFF SIS

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