Women and Why They Don’t Want Kids Anymore


By Brooke Martinez, Staff Writer

Women aren’t having as many kids as before, but it’s not a terrible thing. For some women, it’s their financial situation; for others, it’s the state that the world is in right now. A lot of things can play a part in the decline of women having and wanting kids, especially Covid. But this decline started way before Covid.

How Covid Plays a Part

With Covid-19 still lingering in the air, you would assume that no one would want to have a newborn right now, and your assumption would be correct. Even though pandemic babies are a thing, I doubt anyone was really planning to have these babies during a dangerous pandemic. The virus has affected many young women’s views on having children, making them ask themselves if they want to have children at all.

What if they have kids and a new virus becomes known? What if their child gets the virus? According to the article “Survey: Women Are Rethinking Having Kids as They Face Pandemic Challenges” published on the website for National Public Radio, 34% of the 2,000 women who took the survey during the peak of the pandemic said they are either delaying having their children or having fewer. At the same time, women had a hard time accessing birth control.

Why Exactly Are They Not Having Kids?

Men get applauded for being hard workers every day, but when women choose to pick their career over having children, they get shamed. Some people just want to be successful in their careers and that isn’t cheap. Schooling is a lot of money and to have a child on top of that isn’t easy. It’s not impossible but it certainly makes things harder.

Fear also plays a big factor in women not wanting to have babies because realistically, a lot of things can go wrong. I won’t go in-depth about everything that could go wrong during and after pregnancy, but I will say that some women don’t end up having any children despite wanting to because some type of disability runs in the family. Not everyone has the resources/mental capability to care for a child who might be born with some type of disability, especially if they were raised with someone who had a disability and they saw what their parents or what they had to go through.

Bad Family History

Moving forward, the environment that someone was raised in affects them in many ways, good or bad. So, if someone wasn’t raised in a good home, it could affect their parenting skills. As a result, some people avoid having kids altogether because they’re afraid that they’ll end up like their parents. My aunt, Maritza Rodriguez, who grew up with about 6 siblings, decided not to have any kids.

She said, “Observing the failures of my own mother and father, and the results of bad choices on their part opened up my eyes at a very early age.” The struggles she went through really turned her away from having children because she wouldn’t want her kids to go through what she did. So, she decided that she would only have children if she was sure that she could provide a safe, comforting environment for them at all times.

Financial Stability

Being financially stable is a big one if you want to have kids. It hasn’t stopped some people in the past, but it is stopping them more now. Junior Maria Medina grew up with a medium-to-large family and says she wants at least one kid, but if she were not to be financially stable, she wouldn’t have any children despite her wanting to.

Sophomore Yohanna Maneanares, who was raised with a small family, hasn’t put much thought into having kids, but she doesn’t think she’ll have any if she doesn’t have a good financial standing. She also knows how hard it is to raise kids even though she is the youngest and only has one older brother because she had to babysit her cousins from time to time and she says that “they were a lot of work.”

Environmental Problems

Another thing that worries a lot of women is the fact that climate change and over population exist. Freshmen Daniela Salgado, who believes our world has struggled and been destroyed so much already, said, “I wouldn’t want my child to see this or live through this.”

Some women feel like having children just adds to the problem, especially in America where everyone leaves a huge carbon footprint. Many find it selfish to have children, especially when you could adopt or foster, which helps in many ways. With climate change not getting any better, women think about what their children will have to endure.

Not Ready for Physical Changes

During a pregnancy, the body goes through many changes, some of which aren’t very reversible. Freshmen Samirah Lens said that personal health is something that really prevents her from having kids. She said, “Births are a big cause to female death today and could worsen a mother’s health for life.” So, women who have had eating disorders or body dysmorphia wouldn’t be able to handle some of the changes that occur.

The dramatic changes to your body and the pain that comes with labor aren’t exactly exciting. Even after giving birth, the pain doesn’t stop.  Breastfeeding isn’t easy and the side effects that come with it aren’t either. Other parts of your person could change too, like women’s hair has been known to become frizzier and thinner. Stretch marks are almost inevitable and your waist and hips are known to get bigger. I personally don’t want kids for many reasons, but I would say the main one is the fact that giving birth sounds terrifying to me.

Having kids isn’t easy. No matter how you look at it, raising a kid takes a lot of work. Sophomore Mia Edmonson says she isn’t going to have any kids when she’s older because she “doesn’t have the patience for it” and she doesn’t want her kids to resent her if she was a bad mom.

When you have a kid, you aren’t the most important person in your life anymore; your child is your number one priority. Everything you do is dependent on your child. You won’t be able to do the things you used to; you can’t be carefree anymore. When you’re a parent, nothing goes before your kids. Your whole life changes after you realize you’re going to be a mom; some women don’t want that change. They’re happy with how everything is going on in their life right now and don’t see the reason or necessity to add a child to the mix.

Women Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

Women aren’t on this Earth just to bear children; they are worth way more than that. So, when a woman tells you that she doesn’t want children, don’t question her, don’t tell her that “she might change her mind,” and do not shame her.

Women who choose not to have kids don’t owe explanations to anyone. Some women just don’t have the desire to have children and that’s okay. Women can live amazing, fulfilling lives without a child in them. They aren’t selfish, they aren’t worth any less, and they certainly aren’t any less of a woman.


What NOT to say when women tell you that they don’t want kids:

-“You’ll change your mind.”

-“You just haven’t met the right person.”

-“That’s selfish!”

-“But you’d be a great mom.”

-“But who’s going to take care of you when you’re old?”

-“But childbirth is such a miracle.”

-“You’re too young to know anyways!”

-“Oh, but they change your life!”

-“Why not?”

-“That’s so sad.”

-“That’s just unnatural!”

Source: https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/news/a13932/things-you-should-never-say-to-a-woman-who-doesnt-want-kids/