Getting Cheated On And How To Heal:



By Lila Esquivel, Online Editor

      Being cheated on is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. Whether you have been dating for a short while or even years. When someone who you love betrays you, it becomes a turning point in your life. Additionally, there are times when it is unavoidable to process it. 

    When you realize that it happened to you, deep down it sinks in. And you feel like you cannot think, eat, or concentrate, just thinking of what happened. The realization of feeling these emotions leaves you feeling numb, and you start questioning, “How did this happen?” and you start thinking of what you could have done right. 

    There are many reasons why a person can cheat. Most partners cheat because they don’t feel satisfaction in the relationship. According to the article, “Why people cheat, according to a psychologist” by Sophie Miura, on the website for Brides magazine, “The phrase ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ refers to individual reasons for cheating—qualities about the person that make him or her more prone to commit infidelity.” She writes this to show how individual aspects like personality traits, religious and political orientations, and gender might all play a part.  

    However, not only can it be an individual aspect it can also be caused by the relationship itself. Situational reasons include not showing enough love or high conflicts in the relationship. Cheating can also occur because of their environment, which could be a job or another city.    

   One example of cheating in a TV show is from “Gilmore Girls”, where the main character Lorelai slept with Chris, her ex and the father of her child when she disagreed with her current partner Luke on eloping, after giving Luke an ultimatum. He couldn’t make up his mind and he didn’t like or appreciate being forced to do something he wasn’t ready to do.  

   Lorelai took his silence as his answer and fled the scene. She ran straight to Christopher’s house where they had a one-night stand. Shortly after in Stars Hollow, Luke showed up at Lorelai’s front door and told her that he was ready. Lorelai then told Luke that she had slept with Christopher.  Luke then left without saying a word. He was angry and felt betrayed.  

    When my mother got cheated on before I was born, she said that at the beginning, she knew something was wrong and she wasn’t getting what she needed. “I felt rejected and unheard when we were having conversations and I was tired of being lonely,” she said. After the fact, she never talked to the man who cheated on her; they lost contact from all the anger and betrayal she felt. But over time she found a way to cope with it and focus on herself. “I found taking care of myself, feeling the emotions, and taking time with my priorities helped me get through it,” she said. 

    Chilean poet Pablo Neruda once said, “Love is so short, forgetting is so long.”  Loving someone almost never lasts but trying to forget is the hardest part of trying to move on.  Getting cheated on gets you to self-doubting yourself, leads to anger, sadness, and the final stage—accepting all of it.  

    Going through the process of healing leads to getting wiser and better for future relationships. Sophomore Ivette Moreta, who’s experienced cheating, thinks victims of infidelity should focus on themselves and their happiness “because if you keep dwelling on it, you can get depression.”  

   Being familiar with pain can help you be more empathetic and mindful. It’s important to remember that getting cheated on isn’t about who you are. You shouldn’t compare yourself to the person you’ve been cheated on with because most of the time it has nothing to do with you. If you’re yourself and a good partner, that’s all anyone can ask for.  


How to help your heart heal after it’s been broken 

Most people cheat because they are paying more attention to what they are missing rather than what they have. 

Do not let someone who is not worth your love make you forget how much you are worth. 

☆At the end of the day you are better off without him/her. 

Do not waste your time on someone who genuinely does not like you anymore. 

☆Let other people have your significant other, who will never find someone like you again because no one is you.