Source: 

https://www.istockphoto.com/illustrations/friendzone

    Can men and women be JUST friends? This is a question asked throughout the ages. The possibility of a purely platonic friendship between the opposite sex has been disputed by many. Gender dynamics suggest how men and women perceive a friend of the opposite sex differently and how they grasp these friendships.  

Instances where one had to “friendzone” a close friend  

    The term “friendzone” derives from the situation in which a person is in a friendship and wants a romantic relationship instead. When the other person does not wish for the same result and only wants a platonic relationship, this results in a “friendzone,” where the person desiring the romantic relationship is bound to the restrictions and limitations of a friendship.  

   Senior Keila Aldana states, “There have been multiple instances where I had to friendzone a friend. They kept throwing hints that they liked me in a romantic way, and I told them it wouldn’t work out because I didn’t see them in that way.” Senior Lyes Corredera added, “I did not want to ruin the friendship we had already built. It was scary to take a leap that could result in the friendship ending.” 

The development of romantic feelings in a platonic relationship  

     Catching romantic feelings for a friend is a common occurrence between opposite gender friends. A seventeen-year-old female senior says, “Yes, I have caught feelings for a friend because I believe that to be with someone romantically, you have to be friends first.” 

   Senior Dulce Zuniga differs. She states, “I have never caught feelings for a friend because I know what I consider a friend, and I know how to set boundaries with people. When I talk to my guy friends, I know where the limit is.”  

   Miami High math teacher Mr. B adds, “When you’re my age, you don’t catch feelings. You measure out if that person is good for you or not, then little by little, you can work on developing feelings. But first you have to make sure that person is good for your environment and future.” 

Can men and women be just friends? 

     Many of the students at Miami Senior High have different opinions on the matter. Senior Geyssel Calix states, “I do believe men and women can be just friends but not fully, not to   an extent because I know the nature of men. They constantly try to impress a girl, and they will always have feelings deep down towards a close friend which will cause them to hold onto hope.”  

   Senior Francesco Laccetto adds, “I believe they cannot be friends at all because it is in a person’s nature to find one’s female friends attractive.”  

    An anonymous seventeen-year-old male agrees. “When you build a relationship with another person,” he said, “you tend to get confused, and you begin to gain romantic feelings. There is no such thing as having a friendship with a girl because it’s going to build into a relationship and at the end, you’ll both have feelings for each other.”  

   On the other hand, senior Jordan Martinez claims, “It’s the same thing as having friends of the same gender, or that’s how I see it at least.”  

   Seventeen-year-old Jonathan Lopez agrees, stating,  “Anybody can be friends with anybody, we’re all humans and have similar interests. We don’t have to automatically have intimate relationships with the opposite sex.”  

   Senior Joey Gonzalez agrees. “Men and women,” he says, “don’t have to be together romantically to form a friendship.”  

Friendships with the opposite sex and how they change one’s life 

    Being friends with the opposite gender tends to lead to different dynamics and a shift in perspectives. Geyssel Calix states, “I got more in touch with my feminine side as a man as well as my masculinity and understanding the differences in both genders, especially how to act like a man around a girl.”   

   Senior Lucas Arriaza says, “I feel like it gives me a lot of perspective into the female mind and how they perceive things. It has benefited me in being more open-minded and understanding other people.”  

   Keila Aldana adds that being friends with the opposite gender made her realize that the actions men take can be very questionable at times.  

Dynamics in female to male friendships  

   Gender dynamics play a big role in friendships especially in opposite sex friendships. A female senior claims, “There is definitely things you can’t do with a guy like hug them or hold hands with them.”  

   Another anonymous female senior states, “I do believe that gender affects the dynamic of friendships because there are certain things that you can only talk about with your female friends and certain things you talk about with your male friends.”  

  Senior Sheyla Garcia says that you can’t do “girl things” with a guy.  

   Francesco Laccetto agrees. “In some ways it does change the dynamic,” he says. “With a guy I view them as a brother, so I play around with them differently than I would with a girl so that they don’t feel uncomfortable.” 

Maintaining Boundaries  

    Maintaining boundaries in an opposite sex friendship is an important aspect to keep the friendship strictly platonic. Lucas Arriaza claims, “You have to be clear from the beginning and if you are, it sets the boundaries out for the rest of the friendship. Being clear on what each person wishes to obtain through the friendship leaves no room for confusion.”  

   Jordan Martinez adds, “The way I maintain boundaries is that I upright tell them to not try anything funny or I make sure that I don’t do anything. I won’t get too close to them or flirt with them. Since I’m in a relationship, I tell my partner the boundaries I don’t want her to cross, and she does the same.”  

    Senior Brieanne Aguirre states, “You communicate what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with. You also give examples on how to keep those boundaries.”